Fuzzymonster

theboywhofangirled:

chafing-nipples:

dangermat:

when bananas rot they secrete stuff that makes other fruit including bananas near them rot faster
that’s so fucked up that is murder suicide
bananas commit murder suicide

that’s pretty fucking metal

There’s a joke about potassium and bananas being metal somewhere in here but I can’t detect it

lookslikeazipper:

Right so im walking home and I see this guy rolling a cigarette under a streetlamp and when he clicked his lighter THE FUCKING STREETLIGHT WENT OUT

I stopped in my tracks and stared at this guy who looks up at me then to his lighter and hes as surprised as me then he takes his thumb off the trigger and THE STREETLIGHT TURNS BACK ON

HE GAVE THE MOST SURPRISED LOOK OF ANYONE EVER AND THEN SHOUTED “LATER MUGGLES” AND FUCKING RAN OFF

AM I DREAMING

(via 221b-bacon-street)

worldfamousprofessor:

enhearten:

worldfamousprofessor:

spelling bee moderator: contestant 142, your word is “fergalicious”

contestant: *looks around nervously* um… could i please have a definition?

moderator: *flips through dictionary* “fergalicious. definition: make them boys go loco.”

BEST

*prays for a mercy killing*

(via 221b-bacon-street)